Through Time and Space
by Hannah Granger Weasley
Summary: Will ever Claire and Jaimie meet after she travelled through the stones right before the Battle of Culloden? This is what I've imagined that could've been. Rated M to be safe.
1. 1953 - 5 Years

**_\- Claire's POV –_**

**1953**

-NO! Oh fuck! – I exclaimed as I spilled the hot milk all over the floor. It was already the third thing I dropped that day, and it was only 10 am!

-Mummy? You okay? – I turned to see a very sleepy Brianna at the door, rubbing her eye and yawning.

Afraid that she'd listened to me swearing, I just run to her and lifted her.

-Everything is fine, sweetheart, mummy just spilled your milk. But you can eat your toast while mum warms the milk again, is that ok?

Bree nodded and I sit her at the table. While the milk was boiling again, I looked at her eating with such joy that it seemed food would be vanished from this world soon. "She eats just like him…". As soon as this thought crossed my mind, I realized why I was so disconnected today. Today is 16th April. I've been in the 20th century for 5 years. Tears came to my eyes so unexpectedly I couldn't stop them.

After a few moments trying to calm down, I served the milk to Bree, who drank it enthusiastically.

-Can we play in the park today?

-Of course, honey.

She was so happy with my answer that she run to her bedroom, to get dressed. I was halfway after her when Frank appeared.

-The bathroom is yours, if you want to get dressed. – I noticed that he stopped talking as soon as he looked at me, my eyes should be red and I surely was looking like crap, but he didn't ask anything. Could he remember what day it was?

-Thank you, Frank. I'm going to the park with Bree. Are you coming to dinner?

-Sure, at 8pm, is that alright for you?

-Of course. See you then. – These were our conversations now, about daily routines or Brianna, but rarely beyond this. We weren't sleeping in the same bed and we use the bathroom in times, so we never see each other naked.

In the park, I sit on a bench near the playground and stood there watching Bree having the time of her life, or so it seems every time we go there.

It's amazing how she loves to be outdoors, to run fast with her arms spread open and even to climb at trees. She didn't like that much to spend an entire day at home, I believe she feels the need of fresh air.

"You would be pleased." – I think, looking up to the sky – "She would be delighted to join you fishing or riding a horse."

After a moment, I sighed and kept my mental conversation. "I know I made a promise to stop talking to you, but today is stronger than me. It has been 5 years you know? I still feel the warmth of your hand in mine when you guided me to touch the stones. I still see the tears in your eyes as I did so. I still feel the despair and sorrow when I realized I was really back."

I turn my head down to check on Brianna, and there she was, sliding down and running to do it again, with her vivid red hair flying with the wind.

"God, she looks so much like you. Her hair, her eyes, her nose, even if I tried my hardest, I could never forget you, because I look at a part of you every day… I promise, I'll love and protect her fiercely and immensely, for the two of us."

-Look mum! No hands! – this woke me up to reality and I got up immediately, but it was not fast enough, Brianna was already swinging with no hands and not a second later she was falling.

I run the fast I could and, luckily, I got the swing before it hit her head. She started crying and I checked her head and body, but there were no evident bruises, it was most probably for the shock.

-Come here, my bunny. Everything is okay, you're alright, mummy is here. – I kissed the top of her head and she held me closer until the weeping eventually stopped.

-I never fall… I'm good at it…

-It happens sometimes, but it doesn't mean you're not amazing at it! Just be careful okay?

She nodded and I decided to call it a day. – Let's go shopping for dinner?

Bree was already sleeping and Frank was working in the living room, when I finally finished cleaning the dishes.

-I'm really tired, I'm going to bed. Good night, Frank.

I didn't wait for a reply, I closed the bedroom door and gave up to my aching heart and started crying. I laid in bed, hiding my sobbing with the pillow, but I couldn't breath properly…

-I miss you so much. I'm so tired trying to forget you! I wish I was with you…

I took Jamie's ring in my hands and kissed it.

-But I hate you! For making me leave you and sentencing me to a half-life! – I punched my pillow several times, until I dropped tired and still sobbing – I need you.

I didn't realize, but I probably had talked too loudly. The door opened slowly and I sit in bed as Frank entered the room. I tried, unsuccessfully, to wipe away the tears.

-You don't need to hide it. But you should be quiet, or our daughter will hear you. I thought it was over.

-Over? What do you mean?

-You should have forgotten him by now.

I was astonished with his tone, as if he had a tiny clue of what was going on in my head or… in my heart.

-I will never forget him. I thought we had it clear.

-You're my wife.

-I'm his wife too. And you know that I'll give you a divorce if you ask me. You were the one who insisted on staying married.

-Yes! For Brianna! And I still love you with all my heart, Claire. I wish we'd never had that second honeymoon.

He was devastated, I knew that. And yes, we've been happy, but in a time where I haven't met Jamie, where I had no idea the man of my life was living in the 18th century.

-I never lied to you, Frank. I loved you, yes, I was happy with you every day of those years. And yes, probably it all would have been easier if I'd never travelled through the stones. But it happened, and it changed everything, there is no turning back.

He stood there in silence, a single tear running through his face, and I continued.

-I don't want to hurt you, nor destroy your chance to have a happy future with someone else. We don't need to be miserable, both of us. We should divorce, Frank. For you. For me.

**I don't owe Outlander nor the characters.**

**I hope you enjoy this as much as I do writing it. Please give me some feedback, so I can improve myself.**


	2. 1757 - 11 Years

**\- Jaimie's POV –**

**1757**

I could see her face as clear as a sunny day. She was smiling down on me, her eyes looking straight into mine and one of her hands was trying to reach me. But she never did so, no matter how long she stood there. I tried to get up, but my legs weren't moving. I opened my mouth to call her name, but no sound came out.

I was so angry, why couldn't she try harder and move towards me? Wasn't she aware my legs didn't work?

I closed my eyes to refrain the anger and I suddenly felt it. The warmth of her hand on my face, running through it so gently… My heart raced when she downed it to my chest, drawing little circles.

-Claire… Mo luaidh, I missed you so much…

I opened my eyes slowly, my heart and body craving deeply for her. My vision was blurred, I had to blink a few times before seeing…

-A Dhia! Oh! Milady, I…

-You fell asleep, Alexander, but you must go now.

It felt like I've been hit with a rock on my head. It was all a dream, nothing else. It was never more than a dream, and she never even talks to me!

-Alexander, are you listening? – Lady Dunsany's high pitch woke me up. I realized she had just a sheet around her and I… I was naked. The last hours came to my mind as a painful reminder that I'd failed myself. The promise I secretly made to Claire that I would never touch another woman. I never said it out loud but was something I thought while living in that cave in Lallybroch, when Jenny tried her best to push a young maid to me.

-This won't happen again, milady. I hope it wasn't painful. – I said, trying to be polite while assuring her it was a one time thing.

-Of course, Mr. MacKenzie. Thank you for your services. Tomorrow we'll have our daily horse ride. Have a good night.

-Good night, Miss Dunsany.

During my walk towards the stable, I couldn't stop thinking about how pleasant it had been to feel a woman's touch, it had been such a long time I had almost forgot what it was like to feel another tongue playing with mine, to grab a tiny breast in my hands and suck it slowly, to be inside a woman again…

Feelings of pleasure and guilty haunted my thoughts and dreams that night.

The horse ride the next day began awkwardly. Geneva seemed to be too embarrassed to say anything, which was new, but I can't say I wasn't pleased. We stopped to give water to the horses, and she found the perfect opportunity to address me.

-I must thank you, Mr. MacKenzie, it meant a lot to me. I couldn't think of that man taking my pureness.

-No need to thank me, lass.

-May I ask you something, Mr. MacKenzie?

She didn't wait for me to answer, she just spilled the words.

-Was Claire the name of your wife?

I wasn't expecting that, I had to look away, I wasn't ready to listen her name being said out loud.

-I didn't mean to be rude, I am sorry.

-Yes. – I just answered, to put an end to that conversation.

-You called her last night, uhm… While sleeping.

I couldn't say if she was mad I called for another woman while in bed with her, or if she was just pitying me. Either way, I felt furious.

-We should go back now, the horses are ready.

I helped her sitting on the horse and began to ride towards the house. My prayers for her to remain silent weren't attending.

-Did she love you?

I nodded. Images of Claire kissing me were all over my head. I closed my eyes for a moment.

-And did you love her?

-More than anything in this world. – there she was, beautiful in that dress, waiting to be declared my wife. It felt like she was the sun brightening a sad cloudy day.

-Did she… died?

-She's gone. For a long time now.

-That's not much proper for a woman, to leave her husband. It was with anot-

-No. She didn't leave me for another man. – Rage again flowing through my veins, thinking about her with Frank. She didn't leave me for him, but she was with him, nevertheless.

-Oh. I'm sorry if I'm being too inconvenient.

-She was my heart and she was carrying my child, but it was too risky for him… or her… to stay. So she had to leave. It was not an easy decision, it was the only one.

-Mr. MacKenzie, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-

-I know, Lady Geneva. Here, let me help you dismounting. – She didn't seem to realize we had already arrived for a while now.

Two months have passed by so quickly, between my duties and the conversations with Geneva, which were now a routine, since she hadn't blackmailed me again and she was indeed more pleasant to be with.

That day, however, there was going to be no talk at all, since Lord John Grey was visiting the Dunsany. I was nearby when the carriage arrived. There was Lord William with Lady Louisa followed by Isobel and… her. My eyes stopped on her, my heart racing unexpectedly, and I started trembling. How haven't I noticed it before? Maybe it was the dress she was wearing today, it was tight, all her curves were more noticeable in it.

The day went by painfully slowly, and I didn't find a single moment alone with Geneva, which I was now anxiously waiting for. I couldn't think about anything else, I had to make it clear.

Was not until the next day, when I saw her collecting a bouquet of flowers, maybe for the dinner's table, that I faced her.

-Lady Dunsany. – I announced myself. I had to be careful, or I could lose a lot more than a job.

-Mr. MacKenzie. May I help you?

She didn't turn to look at me. Was she trying to avoid me?

-I believe we need to talk.

-We do it every day, can't you survive one day without it?

-I know. You should have told me, I had the right!

She turned to me so quickly, she almost fell. I grabbed her and she took my hand.

-No one can know. I would be ruined! And you would be hanged!

-Yes, but it is mine. Right?

-Of course, Alexander! I wasn't with anyone else! – she may have noticed my look, so she continued – I've been successful avoiding my husband. He never finished inside me.

-I see. I can't believe I'm going to be a father.

-You're not going to be a father, this is the child of Lord Ludovic Ransom.

I nodded, she was right. I could never reclaim that child as my own and live to say another word. And it made me miserable, realizing my third child would also be taken away from me.

**I don't owe Outlander nor the characters.**

**I hope you enjoy this as much as I do writing it. Please give me some feedback, so I can improve myself.**


	3. 1964 - 16 Years

**\- Frank's POV –**

**1964**

I was working late, tomorrow was going to be a very challenging day. The essay I've been working on for years will finally be presented to some of the most acclaimed American historians and a few interns from England and Scotland who were studying in Boston.

This work has already offered several fights with Claire, and I knew from the beginning it wouldn't be easy, but that was the time period that I was asked to study and eventually even write a book about it. It was going to be so important to my career, I couldn't take it all away because of her unsupported fears. There weren't many studies done in America about the what so called by us The Jacobites Era, and I would be one of the first historians here to dig it.

At first, I thought she could help me, after all she was there and could give me several first hand insights. She made it very clear from the beginning she was not going to say a single word about it. Well, it was our agreement, never to mention her journey to the 18th century, and certainly, never to say that man's name in my presence. I almost broke this the day I was told what my essay would be about, I got home so excited with the thought that I was going to have details no one else knew about, that I asked her to tell me everything about it.

I still remember the look in her eyes, a mix of confusion and disbelief, as if she was going directly to a trap. I tried to explain, but she just walked away and haven't talked to me for 3 days. I recall coming to our bedroom and she was crying, so desperately low, she didn't want me nor Brianna to hear. It broke my heart into a million pieces, I was the reason why she was like that, I forced her to remember it all over again. I knew she went through a lot, she saw dead man, and other died on her hands. I also knew I made her remember _him._ I hated myself.

I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I haven't noticed Claire getting in and laying on the couch. She was the one who made herself noticed.

-May I lay here for a while? I promise you won't notice me. I just could use a bit of music and relax.

-Sure, Claire. You never bother me, stay as you might. Do you want me to change the music…?

-No, this is fine.

Stand by me of Ben E King was playing and I couldn't help but wish that she would've stayed by my side since the first time we met. But life had other plans for us. It has been a little nightmare some days. I share the guilt, sure, I've made mistakes and bad choices, I've failed as a husband, Sandy Travers is the proof, but living years and years not being touched by the woman of my dreams, not being looked at… She was always so far away from me. Sometimes from Brianna as well.

"_And darlin', darlin', stand by me  
Oh, stand by me"_

I couldn't help but look at Claire, I wish she was really here, kissing me gently assuring tomorrow will be perfect. Instead, I noticed she was tense, her shoulders were tightened, and she wasn't moving. She was just laying there, yes, but it seemed something was not entirely right. I wanted to say something, but no words came from my mouth. Instead I just turned to my presentation.

I was almost done when one of my favourite songs began to play: I Can't Stop Loving You, by Ray Charles. I closed my eyes to fully appreciate it, everything about it was pure and true.

I looked at Claire, I would never stop loving her, I knew it, no matter how I was with other women, how she pushed me away, how she didn't want me anymore.

She led a hand to her face, and I realized she was crying. In complete silence, but I could say it anyways.

"_I can't stop wanting you  
I said, "It's useless to say"  
So I'll just live my life  
In dreams of yesterday"_

She was thinking about him. I was so sure, but how could she? All I could think about was her, but she… She was living "in dreams of yesterday"! She has been for 16 years.

She had no idea I was watching her silent sorrow. She sat on the couch with both hands on her face, I could see she was shaking.

"_Ah they say, "that time  
It heals a broken heart""_

She sighed and denied with her head. _"Time isn't healing you, is it?"_, I asked her in my mind. In that very moment I hated the song. I couldn't listen to it, a feeling of guilt running through my veins. _"I should have told you, shouldn't I?"_ My hands began to shake, and this consuming doubt was making me go crazy. _"You are a horrible person, Frank. And a very egocentric one as well."_ I wanted to shut my mind up, but there was an internal argument going on _"You were saving her from a deep sorrow, what could have she done? She had Brianna! Oh, no! You're lying to yourself, Frank Randall, you knew, deep down, she would take her away and leaving you alone. Perhaps that's what you deserved!"_

-I have something to tell you, Claire. – the words came out of my mouth before I could realize it. I saw her turning to me, I sounded despaired and serious. Her eyes were red and she was bitting her lip.

-W-What? – she seemed scared. Did I sounded more dramatic than I thought?

I wanted to run away, to erase that moment, to go back in time. _"Fuck, not go back in time!"_. It was late for that, I had only one way to go, and it will end with Claire hating me forever.

-I found something, years ago. Something I've never told anyone, something I did my best to erase from my mind.

-I don't understand, Frank.

-It was after you returned. – I could see her discomfort at the mention of her journey. – I couldn't think about anything else. I wanted to understand. I wanted it to make sense to me in some way. How could my wife, with whom I have been so truly deeply happy, and who I believed had been happy with me as well, say she was in love with another man? I saw you for a long time, you never noticed of course, but I watched you sleeping, and you cried for him so many times. I watched you alone in the kitchen looking at the window and from time to time you whispered his name. And I also know that for a couple of years you spoke to him every night before sleep, about new things Brianna had learnt, or about how you wish you were with him.

-Frank, you… - her voice got lost and I knew I was already crying, but couldn't stop the so long hidden words being spilled out all at once.

-I know I shouldn't have watched you without your knowledge, but those were the only times I got to be near you, and I just couldn't stop, I was missing you so much.

-I am so sorry, Frank. I never wanted to hurt you, never. I want you to be sure of that, I told you the truth because I didn't want to make you live a lie. I gave you the choice of being with me and Brianna or leave, because I never wanted you to have your life ruined.

-I know, Claire, and I don't blame you. I couldn't get it at the time, so I had to do something… It turned out to be more complicated than what it was supposed to be.

-What have you done? – she was afraid of my answer, and I knew that with my following words, she would hate me forever.

-I have searched James Fraser. I know what happened to him at Culloden. I just wanted to make sure he had died, so when I'd told you, you would realize that there was nothing left for you in that century and we could go on, together.

I made a pause, but she hasn't said a word, tears were running through her cheeks, but she was in silence. It scared me, a lot.

-But I never told you anything, Claire. Because I was selfish, I wanted you to be with me! I wanted Brianna to be with me! Because I was so scared of losing you, and at the same time I was so sure I would. Because you would want to go. Because he survived Culloden, Claire.

**I don't owe Outlander nor the characters.**

**I really enjoyed writing this chapter from Frank's point of view. I always understood him, he was a loving and caring husband and it was not his fault that all that had happened to him. **

**Please give me some feedback, what did you think of this?**


	4. 1964 - 16 Years pt 2

**\- Claire's POV –**

**1964**

It took several moments for my brain to process what Frank was saying. It made no sense, how could he possibly have found Jamie? I've searched for him endlessly myself when I returned, I've read every book I could found looking for his name… and hoping never to find it. I never did, actually, so how could he?

I turned to him slowly, he was looking at me expecting an answer, but there was none I could give him. He was probably making that up to mess with me and my head. He wants revenge on what I've turned his life into, he wants to punish me.

-I don't know why you said that, but I thought you wanted that name to never be mentioned in your house. I kept that promise to you and was hoping you would do the same.

-Claire… I'm telling you the truth.

-Please, stop. – I couldn't stand another word. All my dreams were about him to be alive and happy somewhere, but when I come to reason, I know that is impossible. I know how the Battle of Culloden ended, and it was a bloodshed for Scotland.

-I don't know how it happened, what led to him being spared, but he was not in the dead records.

-That does not mean he survived. Thousands of men fought in that battle, it is perfectly normal that not all were recorded.

-No, you're right. But I found his name in the list of prisoners of Ardsmuir Prison. He was sent to work with some Lord in England.

I have no idea if I could trust his words, but hope was growing steadily in my heart. My hands began to shake, and my vision got blurred, as a doctor I knew I was about to faint.

"Jamie…" – it was the last thing I remember hearing, not sure if it was my own voice or my mind. The next thing I recall was laying in the couch and Frank was hugging Brianna, who was clearly worried.

-Bree… - I called her, my voice failing.

-Mama! You scared us! We should go to the hospital!

-I'm alright Brianna, this was lack of sugar, I'll be fine in a minute. – my head was hurting badly, and it felt like I was punched in my back, every muscle was in pain. It was either the shock or the denial. – How was your dinner?

-Tina was so happy with the surprise party! We had a great time!

I nodded with my head, and from time to time I turned to Frank, who was always looking at me with a mix of worry and fear. He wanted to say something, that was obvious, but I also have something to tell him.

It was not until the next day, while he was getting dressed for his presentation, that I knocked at his door.

-Claire! – he didn't expect me there – I am so sorry for last night, I never wanted you to-

-To have false hope? Because that's exactly what I feel. I wish you haven't said a word. I wish I was still in ignorance.

-I… I thought you'd be pleased to know he didn't die in Battle.

-It took you 16 years to realize that?

-I know I should've told you before. I was selfish and scared you'd leave me alone. Again. I couldn't bare it.

-You could have taken it to the grave. You just put such a burden on my shoulders. I hope you're satisfied.

-But… Claire?

-What? You thought I would be what? Happy? Excited? What for? He is dead. Right now, he is. And now is where I am. Where I will be. And knowing he was always there, that I could've fucking stayed with him all this time, but I was here because he… - I took a deep breath because I knew I was so close to break in tears. – Knowing he is there, and I am here and we're both living in our times, separate forever until the day we both die… THAT IS WAY WORSE THAN BELIEVING HE WAS DEAD. – I was crying by now, there was no way to stop the tears, the anger in my heart, the pain in my chest – Because believing so, was my excuse to be here. I came back because he was not there, and I had no reason to stay.

Frank said nothing. I didn't recall being so anxious, crying so desperately since I came back, and I had my share of crying.

16 years of my life thinking my love was dead and I had to keep living for my daughter, only for her. Living a half-life, but mentally accepting I had no reason to even try to come back. But now I learn that I could've tried. Or I could've managed a way to tell him his daughter was alive and healthy.

But now it was way too late for that. There was no possible way I could explain to Brianna what happened, she would never believe, that practical and rational mind of hers would never believe, she would think I was insane and move even away from me. And I could never leave her.

-I want the divorce, Frank. – I said, calmly but fiercely. He was astonished, certainly not expecting this. The truth is that if Jamie really is alive in his time, being with Frank feels like cheating and dishonouring him. – I never chose to leave you, to fall in love with another man so deeply that not even 200 years could erase him from my heart. The plan was to live a happy long life with you, Frank, but life had other plans for us. And I am really sorry things went the way they did, but there is no turning back now. And I want you to live your life, not mine nor Brianna's. Yours. It's time, at last.

-You're going back to him and you're taking my girl, aren't you?

-No, Frank. I won't take Brianna anywhere and I'm not going to tell her the truth. I made a promise to you, and I intend to keep it. If I ever tell her anything, it'll be only after your death. Being us married or not. I still care for you, Frank, and I am deeply thankful to you for what you did for Brianna, you really were her father.

He looked at me and tears filled his eyes, he nodded slightly and gave me a quick hug.

-Thank you, Claire, for giving me the opportunity to raise such an amazing girl.

-What does this all mean? You've been lying to me all this time? You're not my father? So I'm what? The daughter of one of your affairs?

There she was, standing at the door, giving me a look of disgust and betrayal. I felt my head getting dizzy, my mouth dried and I couldn't say a word.

Before I could move, the door was loudly shut.

I looked at Frank, but he was as horrified as I was.

I could have lost my daughter for good, she would never understand the truth.

**I don't owe Outlander nor the characters.**

**What do you think Brianna will do next? Will Claire be able to join Jamie again or only after the 20 years? Or… never?**

**Please give me some reviews! :***


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